Thursday, September 28, 2006

Comcastic!


I don't know who the marketing genius is that set up the cable TV programming here but, uh, WOW!

I was skimming the channels the other morning and there was a pretty disturbing hunting program on one of the 20 stations we get with basic cable. Now, I grew up hunting and I am not averse to it, but to have a station devoted to slow motion replays of deer getting shot or birds being transformed into a daffy duck joke, replete with gently floating feathers, just seems wrong. So, as I am drifting in and out of consciousness, recovering from the graveyard shift I work on the weekends, I kept seeing various hunting shows on the same channel.

I was amused enough to regale Jenn with my finding when she got home. However, despite my best efforts I couldn't find the station. She lightly accused me of hallucinating but the next morning I saw it again. I swear to F'n Gawd. I saw an advertisement for an illuminated arrow that promised to help people track "that trophy buck" they just impaled.

This time I made a careful effort to remember which station it was on. When Jenn got home I sat her down to take a look at the absurdity I had discovered. Here's the conversation:

Jenn: "what?"
Dirt: "wait for it"
Jenn: "uh, huh. Sweetie, I am really busy. I have to grade thirty six papers by Wednesday."
Dirt: "wait for it. . ."
Jenn: "what am I waiting for? It's a tampon commercial."
Dirt: "well, yeah but in a minute you are going to see some crazy shit that even Ted Nuggent would blush at."
- - -commercial ends and a movie starts- - -
Jenn: "seriously honey, it's the Birdcage have you never seen the Birdcage?"
Dirt: "well, no, but I swear this is the hunting channel I was telling you about."
Jenn: "It's Bravo, sweetie."

Sure enough it was Bravo. Here is where the marketing genius comes into play. Apparently there isn't enough programming available to make Bravo a 24 hour channel this close to Colorado Springs and Focus on the Family so they split air time with the testosterone channel. Twelve hours of killing Bambi and then twelve hours of Killer fashion tips. Talk about your bizarro worlds. How did they sell that one to their boss?

2 comments:

Julie said...

The Christian Right strikes again!

Hey, those Christians don't have any problem with killing. They're going to stand by, gleefully, as jahweh slaughters us heathens in cold blood, remember?

DirtE said...

Listen to them, they're dying, R2. Curse my metal body. I wasn't fast enough. It's all my fault.

Please, Jesus, Save Me from Myself!

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