Seppuku for Bush?

The Reuters headline reads:
Bush skewers self at correspondents' dinner

I was hoping this was going to have something to do with the old Roman tradition of falling on one's sword...

No such luck. Damn!

Hard up in High School

I heard a report on the local nightly news about high school boys using Viagra. It took a few days before the shock of the newscast sunk in. The absurdity of it all. Let me back up and say that again, High school boys using Viagra.

What!??

Maybe they ain't growing 'em the way they used to.

Again, high school boys using Viagra!?

Was I the odd man out? Was I the only boy in high school walking around with a perpetual boner? If Shelly walked within ten feet of me I had a stiffy. If I so much as caught a whiff of women's perfume I'd be walking funny for hours. I won't even begin to describe what would happen if some girl accidentally made physical contact with me. . . Ohhhhh!

High
School
Boys
Using
Viagra!?

What the hell has happened to our society when the result is that high school boys need help getting a hard on? There has got to be some reference to that in the book of Revelation. We are doomed.

All Gone

The thumbnail finally came off today. I about puked!

So now the big question, should I sell it on ebay or give it away to that special someone as a gift?

So Gay!

I found out last night that I am a "Fag." Maybe some of you already knew this but it would have been helpful for you to fill me in before I asked Jenn to marry me. Now what am I supposed to do? Should I ask for the ring back and give it to someone else?

It was a bit strange to find out, I must admit, but here's the gist. I was riding my bike downtown and I crossed the street in a cross walk. A guy in a group of frat boys (the quintessential determiners of homosexuality) walking near where I was crossing yelled at me, "Hey Faggot."
I can't believe he could tell so readily and I have been in the dark on this for all these years.

What the hell!?

Not a single one of my gay friends has said a thing to me. What a bunch of Jerks. It took some random guy on the street to let me know.

Ice... the Devil's Work

I know Southerners have a reputation for being ignorant. . . but DAMN! This is the label off a package of prepared Okra. Do marketing companies really think that Southerners believe basic physics is "magic"?

. . . "Honey you best be getting out here, somebody done bewitched the pond. It's cold, and solid and. . . Sweetie. . . I'm scared them devil worshipers or maybe them Northern liberals used their magic and froze the dang thing."

April 6 '99

She died seven years ago today but, I still miss my mom.

What?!

CSU Pueblo Student Shot 16 Times

Articles like this make me wonder . . .
1. Isn't one shot sufficient? This dickhead would have had to reload a couple of times. I mean come on, seriously what are you trying to prove at that point, dead is dead. Guys like this should be strung up by their short hairs, but (and this is just my cynical nature showing through again) somebody on the jury is going to say he is crazy because he shot her so many times and he'll walk out with a mental illness sentence.
2. She was shot in her apartment but wasn't found until the guy turned himself in. I have never lived in a sound proof apartment. What kind of neighbors hear 16 gunshots in the middle of the night and say, "hmm, 16 shots, now thats odd. If there had been 17 shots I would have reported that to the police or called 911, but there were only 16. I'm going back to bed. How about you honey? Coming back to bed?"