Fishing for Votes

Say the name Sarah Palin and two words now come to mind:

Pandering and Gimmick

John, Please!? You call Barack's credentials into question?

Palin's political qualifications:
-4 years on city council and 4 years as mayor in a town of approximately 7,000 people
-under 2 years as governor of a state with a total population less than Columbus Ohio.

Palin's religious qualifications:
She is a "proud" member of the Assemblies of God. This religious denomination is the same Holy Roller fundamentalist group that brought us Jim/Tammy Fae Baker and Jimmy Swaggart. This genre of fundies also includes:
-Ted Haggart (the anti-gay, gay meth-head)
-Oral (give me 8 million or God's gonna kill me) Roberts
-Pat Robertson (700 club)
-James Dobson (unfocused on the family)
-Operation rescue, etc, etc.
These folks believe abortion is murder and should be outlawed but see no problem killing innocent Iraqi's -killing innocents is a by-product of a good war (unless it is abortion and then it is a war on the doctors and it is OK to kill a doctor to save a baby). Plus, killing the sand dwellers is not bad since muslims are godless heathens. And while I'm on the subject of killing in general, they wholey (or holy as the case may be) support the death penalty.

Palin's educational qualifications:
Sarah has a Bachelor's degree in Journalism from that highly prestigious school, University of Idaho.

So to recap it looks like John chose her because:
a. She has never dealt with populations greater than the Denver metro area (the Denver Metro area is actually 3x's bigger than she has ever had to handle) so she makes him look very qualified in comparison
b. She brings in the Conservative Christian Wacko vote
c. Her degree insures she can talk real pretty-like
d. She doesn't have a penis or any dark skin pigmentation and therefore appeals to the "Hilary" supporters
E. People will focus on her instead of him in the photo sessions (that also explains John's Stepford Wife)

Good fishin' John!

Please Not Hilary

Seriously "Hilary supporters" you would rather vote for John McCain than Obama?

You can't possibly think that McCain's policies are more closely aligned to Hilary's than Obama's.

The local bookstore won't carry If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans by Anne Coulter but it will carry Rush Limbaugh's See, I Told You So.

If I follow your logic the Anne Coulter supporter should get so enraged that they must refuse to buy the Rush Limbaugh book and instead buy an Al Franken book.

That makes sense doesn't it?

Barack, I say to you, "if you pick Hilary as your veep I'm voting for McCain!"

Moore/Alexander 2008

Poking a Sleeping Bear, Calgary Edition

I’ve been in Calgary Canada for the last three weeks and there has been no less than four separate bear attacks. One a week seems pretty high to me. All of these attacks have been in people’s front yards mere feet away from their houses. Here are a couple of scenarios to consider:

A bear is hanging out in your front yard do you:

a. do nothing
b. stay inside and call animal control
c. go outside and make a lot of noise to scare the bear away
d. go outside and slowly approach the bear talking to it in low soothing tones explaining how its presence in your yard is unacceptable and that it should go find its own kind and return to nature as the bear thrashes you around like a rag doll.

Apparently these dumbasses think the best solution is either C. or D.

It is a bear for F^@& sake!

Poking a Sleeping Bear

Quick summary in case you missed it.

Georgia, formerly of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR or CCCP) seceded and obtained autonomy when things fell apart in the late 90’s.

Russia, formerly the powerhouse of the USSR didn't like the fact that their former protectorates, like the Republic of Georgia, decided they were too uppity to hang around and service the master.

Ossetia, Formerly of the Republic of Georgia, decided it was too uppity to service the master and seceded, aligning its politics with Russia. Russia offers a better protection plan considering things like oil revenues generated in the region.

Russia has been warning Georgia for years to leave Ossetia alone and let them retain their autonomy.

Georgia, friend of the West, decided to invade Ossetia to get its territory back.

Russia, always itching for a fight rose to the occasion and moved in to help out Ossetia.

Now GeeDub says that Russia is a bully for kicking people around in their own neighborhood. Nobody called Georgia a bully when they moved troops into south Ossetia. . . and, I guess if you go to someone else's neighborhood and start kicking people around you are exempt from bully status (Iraq anyone?)? Even in an almost identical situation, we supported the secession of Kosovo despite Serbia's claim on the territory.

Why does the USA feel the need to swing sticks at hornets nests anyway?

Equal Protection

DirtE Co. a subsidiary of Dirt and Jenn, announced today that second quarter profits will not meet expectations. Said co-president DirtE; "The reasons for declining profits are not easy to track however, we expect that the required re-organization in the eating portion of our infrastructure and the resulting construction costs may have had an impact."

"Consider also the rising prices for gas and food as well as our expansion and future growth of company man-power scheduled for the fourth quarter of this year." Added co-president JennE.

As a result of the decline in profitability DirtE Co. will list financial write-downs. The write downs will affect investors as diverse as the US Student loan corporation, and the Mortgage investment bank.

. . . If only it were as easy for all of us private citizens to default on loans and financial obligations, without any ramifications, as it is for corporations.

Hair Today, Her Tomorrow

It pisses me off that not only did Edwards have an affair, but that he is stupid enough to do it while on the campaign trail. Did he think no one would find out? What if he had gotten the Democratic nomination? How much money, and resources, and other people’s time and energy would he have wasted?

What an arrogant, selfish bastard!

Par for the course. Welcome to politics!

Connor MacLeod Rides a Plane

I was on the plane today and it was a pretty quiet. Normally it is difficult to hear other people. Behind me a few rows back I heard this conversation starting up between two uber conservatives. They were talking about taxes, oil and, inevitably, global warming. One guys said, "I just can't get all this fear these 'scientists' are working up. There isn't anything that they can show to prove there is anything different going on with our climate. When I was younger they were complaining about smog, then ozone, now this. Why aren’t they still talking about those things?"
The other guy says, "I know. I have lived through an ice age, smog warnings and now this."

An ice age!??? This guy lived through an ice age!??? I turned around trying to find a thawed-out cave man or at least a man wizened by the last 3 eras he has lived through but instead I see a 40 something fat ass. Was he a highlander and just held his age really well?