Wild Turkey

Thanksgiving came and went. It is easily my favorite holiday. The only expectation is to eat. So, I did. Jenn and I went to my dad's place. His wife did all the cooking and it was great despite one little hitch. Dinner was supposed to be at 1:00pm but for whatever reason the turkey didn't make it into the oven until 11:00am. I'm no expert cook but even I would not expect a 20 pound bird to be finished in 2 hours. When we pulled the thing out of the oven it was still more than just a bit sanguine. Yes, this may be a good case for vegetarianism but I don't give up so easily. I wrapped it back up and by 5:00pm we were ready to eat.

This was only a slight oversight compared to my sister-in-law's dinner this year. She is hands down the worst cook ever. Case in point was her peach cobbler a few years back, it was blue. She didn't use food coloring but whatever she did it turned blue. Blue!? What the hell do you do to a peach to turn it blue? She is the reason that at every church pot-luck people ask, "Did Phylis make this?" I don't think she consciously tries to kill anyone but if she wanted to, it wouldn't be a long stretch. So this year my aunt said Phylis called at around 2:00pm and asked if there was a way to quickly cook a turkey. She had put her turkey in the oven at precisely 8:00am so it would be ready in time. 6 hours later, all of her guests were sitting at the table when she opened up the oven and realized that she never turned it on. Ooops!