Monday, August 21, 2006

Wanted Surrogate Parents, Creative Solutions a Must

I saw this show called super nanny a few weeks ago. Everybody else in the world seemed to be aware of this show but me. She came in and, in the course of a week, got two absolute hellions to turn into decent respectable kids. My dad's method of dealing with kids was a quick smack on the back of the head. It was abrupt but efficient, all six of my siblings turned out pretty decent, if I do say so myself. The thing is it's a different world now. Most parents are too fucking stupid to know when to say when. Case in point is the jackass outside of Fort Collins that thought it was perfectly acceptable to tow his two year old (yes, 2-year old!) kid on an inflatable tube behind a speed boat at over 30 MPH. Maybe this guy's dad hit him a bit too hard on the back of his head so by the time he had kids of his own his brain has been rattled beyond the point of knowing what acceptable behavior is.

Anyway back to the super nanny. The world is composed of some pretty bratty kids. Jews, Arabs, Nigerians, Liberians and those are just the poor kids with a disaffected youth. We also have the shitty little rich assholes like the French and Americans. There is an entire world full of bratty little kids jerking the rest of us around by the nose because nobody knows what to do with them. Sure we have the dads that go around kicking in the teeth of all the other kids and saying how bad they are while their own kids are hanging out robbing liquor stores; but, where are the responsible parents that have real solutions to the problems in the world?

Can't somebody please call up the super nanny and see what she can do to sort through this mess? Quite frankly I am tired of being pulled around behind a boat, at speeds much too fast for me to handle, by a bunch of power drunk assholes.

2 comments:

Laura said...

Please, please, don't say a word next time you are with our kidlets... just pretend they are the perfect saints we believe them to be (when they aren't destroying our home) and go about your merry way. :-) Because, of course, our parenting skills are perfect, not anything like those parents who need Super Nanny (or Nanny 911, have you heard of that one yet?).

Love,
Laura

PS I couldn't get the link to the jackass to work... just FYI.

DirtE said...

Dear Spent. . .
only if Vera or Ricky start toting ak-47's and shooting at their cousins.

Dear Laura. . .
The jackass posting the link got a better jackass link that works. Thanks for the heads up. Now if I could just keep mine down.

XOXO Dirt

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