Allah VS. Jesus; The Grudge Match

I've noticed that when people say I am violent, if I punch them in the throat then they tend to change their opinion.

The best way to prove that abortion is murder is to kill the doctors.

The best way to prove the Pope wrong is to react violently; burn churches, call out a few more fatwas to destroy Western cultures, threaten to kill all infidels. That will definitely convince people that you are civilized.

Stop the Mexicans at the Border

I am with all the patriots and Minute Men on this one.

The Mexicans come into MY COUNTRY and steal all of the good dishwashing, housecleaning, and fruit picking jobs from able body Americans looking to make a great livable wage of $5.15 and hour. Now I find out that they are trying to steal our thunder by having the first known writing in the Western Hemisphere!!?

When will it stop? These peoples South of the border are troublesome. Mr Bush? Mr Cheney? Why, oh why, won't you make a real concerted effort to stop these people before they strike again? Just a couple of suggestions here:

-Maybe we could lower the minimum to something less appealing. That would disincentize them from coming here and stealing our good jobs.

-Maybe we could bomb the hell out of them and destroy these "historical artifacts," that would keep any more of these embarrassing discoveries from popping up.

I'm just looking out for the interests of all real Americans.

Nevermind the Hand... or the Cookie Jar!

IAEA protests "erroneous" U.S. report on Iran

Is Iran attempting to produce nuclear weapons? I don't know but neither does the Bush administration. They say they do know but, let's look at the track record of this administration in the Middle East. Anybody else hear the cries of "wolf?"

Unfortunately its just way too easy to look at life and politics as mere sound bites. Why else did half the US population vote for the failed son of a failed President, not once but twice (yes, I know that the elections are disputable but get over it. At this point it is a done deal).

The methods politicians use are simple, scare Americans shitless about some unforeseen threat and you can get them worked into an irrational frenzy willing to overlook any trace of common sense. The Russians, the Iranians, the Afghanis. . .

Look Geedub, If you are truly concerned over America's "addiction" to oil doesn't it make sense to free up some of the oil and research some alternatives? Nuclear energy is a viable alternative. Besides, what do you care? If Iran develops nuclear weapons (most experts agree that at a good clip it would still be 15-20 years off) Iran is a Shia country and they would probably just kill off all the Sunni's anyway. Hell half your "mission" would really be accomplished at that point.

Alas Poor Erwin, I Knew Him Not So Well

"...This is one of the most dangerous snakes in the world, Watch me stick me tounge in 'is mouth and live."

"...This is one of the most docile fish in the world, watch me get killed by 'im."

sometimes Irony just isn't a good enough word.

The Greene Party

I am sometimes confused by the contradictions of people. I suppose I confuse people as well, but probably not for any real complexity that I present. I am reading Graham Greene's "Monsignor Quixote" on the suggestion of Jenn's grandpa. It reminds me of the movie "Mindwalk" or maybe even "Before Sunrise." MQ is basically a novel of dialogue between two friends and traveling companions from opposite view points. One is a catholic monsignor and the other is a communist mayor.

I need to sit down with Jenn's Grandpa and figure out why he likes this book so much. What is it that a retired bird colonel, who was a fighter pilot during WWII and Korea, and is a staunch supporter of the US Military and is a pretty conservative man, enjoys in a book like this? It is like finding out that your dear sweet grandma secretly likes to play Grand Theft Auto. Not quite a "WTF?!!" moment but enough to arouse curiosity.

Side Note:
If you haven't seen "Little Miss Sunshine" yet, try to do so. We saw it during a matinee last Friday but it easily would have been worth the full bill.

Wanted Surrogate Parents, Creative Solutions a Must

I saw this show called super nanny a few weeks ago. Everybody else in the world seemed to be aware of this show but me. She came in and, in the course of a week, got two absolute hellions to turn into decent respectable kids. My dad's method of dealing with kids was a quick smack on the back of the head. It was abrupt but efficient, all six of my siblings turned out pretty decent, if I do say so myself. The thing is it's a different world now. Most parents are too fucking stupid to know when to say when. Case in point is the jackass outside of Fort Collins that thought it was perfectly acceptable to tow his two year old (yes, 2-year old!) kid on an inflatable tube behind a speed boat at over 30 MPH. Maybe this guy's dad hit him a bit too hard on the back of his head so by the time he had kids of his own his brain has been rattled beyond the point of knowing what acceptable behavior is.

Anyway back to the super nanny. The world is composed of some pretty bratty kids. Jews, Arabs, Nigerians, Liberians and those are just the poor kids with a disaffected youth. We also have the shitty little rich assholes like the French and Americans. There is an entire world full of bratty little kids jerking the rest of us around by the nose because nobody knows what to do with them. Sure we have the dads that go around kicking in the teeth of all the other kids and saying how bad they are while their own kids are hanging out robbing liquor stores; but, where are the responsible parents that have real solutions to the problems in the world?

Can't somebody please call up the super nanny and see what she can do to sort through this mess? Quite frankly I am tired of being pulled around behind a boat, at speeds much too fast for me to handle, by a bunch of power drunk assholes.

The Novel

There has been so much going on lately that I have been pretty far behind on things outside of work and moving. Here's the recap outside of Jews and Arabs fighting, Jews and Mel Gibson fighting, and pretty much anybody with half a non-alcohol addled brain cell fighting Mel Gibson.

Jenn and I got our new place despite a series of frustrations. Our place is in an apartment complex that has break points based on how much you earn. We don't make much so we filled out all the paperwork and they said we qualified for a reduced price structure. SCORE! But, at 6:00pm the day before we moved the girl (and I emphasize girl because I think she is 17 maybe 18 max) called me on my cell and asked me to resend the paperwork because it wasn't complete. How the hell was I even supposed to get the paperwork? It wasn't like I hadn't already packed up my apartment. She said we wouldn't be able to move in until that was resubmitted. So, I had her email the paperwork and went to kinkos and got everything returned to her. Then at 10:00 am the day we are suppose to move in, as I am trying to load up the trailer, she called again and said that there was some more paperwork that she had forgot about that I had to file or we couldn't move in. . .

Nothin' doing! I kindly told her where she could stick it. It should be noted that Jenn and I filled out the initial paperwork three weeks before we were set to move in and she waited until the night before to check everything out. She even had the temerity to blame me saying that I should have noticed that I hadn't filled everything out properly. A quick conversation with her manager and we were back on track and hauling things into the new apartment. When we moved in we paid for the last ten days of July and for the month of August in advance. August 6th Jenn and I rolled back into town after a weekend visiting family and there was a notice stuck to the door saying that since we had not paid our rent that we now owed double our rent plus legal recovery fees or we were going to be evicted. Bastards! We had to track down the money order receipt from my bank to prove that we had paid. This is a really nice little apartment but it is too bad the management sucks.

On a different note I started work last Monday at an air charter company. It is not bad work outside of having to deal with scheduling trips for the uber rich. These folks are plopping down more money on single trips than I make in an entire year. Something is wrong in the world when people have so much money to burn that they can justify 30K on a day trip to Monterey to play a round of golf. Seriously! I scheduled a trip for just that purpose last week.

I need to give some public apologies to people that I neglected but feel hella guilty about.
Mindy, Happy Birthday!
Matt, Happy Birthday!
Joe and Jill, Happy Anniversary!
Eric, Happy Birthday!

I wish I could have been there to celebrate with you all on your respective days. Damn I already miss being close to you guys. That's it! I'm moving back. . . OK, Jenn says I have to suck it up and be a man, But I do miss everyone.

I'm Caught in a Trap, I Can't Get out

...because I love you too much baby

Hay Sofaia

I get random emails from people wanting to hire me for my awsome prowess. Today I got a request to be an expert and give advice on kasamba.com. I give my advice away. Nobody ever asks for it and I have never asked anyone to pay me for my unsolicited diatribes; maybe I should. "Sophia" is one of their "experts."



I figured I should start asking questions before giving advice.

"Sophia how '100%Accuret' can you possible be 'hear' when your mad psychic skill doesn't give you the ability to perceive that you can't spell?"

Nothin'

I just got hooked back up to the Internet today.

I got nothing.

Jenn and I have been too busy packing, moving, unpacking, cleaning, etc for me to think about much else. Consolidating two households into one is not as easy a task as it may sound.

Give me a day or three. I'm sure I'll start raving like a lunatic again.

Make My Day

Israel pursues Lebanon assault unchecked by US

Of course they are going unchecked. Duh! Does anyone honestly think that Geedub would point his addled finger at any of our "allies" doing exactly what he is doing?: conducting a pre-emptive strike in the name of national security.

Not unlike warring families where Johnny Prick gets in a fight with Jerry Bottom, and next thing you know the whole bunch of dicks and assholes are duking it out. It becomes a huge debacle with everyone too proud and stupid to back down. Each of the parties refusing to take shit from the other, but happy to smear it all over themselves.

Nobody is really concerned with the good of their own people, just a bunch of cocksure jerks itching for a fight.